The Prime Contenders

Here is the transcript of our parade skit:
You may address me as number 2– the number one prime number.  Behind me is number 3, the number 2 prime, and also with me is numbers 5 and 7, the third and fourth primes.

We represent the prime numbers– positive integers evenly divisible by only ourselves and one.  We are tired of being treated as freaks and second hand citizens on the number line.

Welcome to prime time– when all numbers are treated equally.  To make this dream a reality, we will now present our organizations prime directive:

We the primes, an infinite subset of the positive integers, are demanding equal rights to composite numbers.  The time has come to elect one of our own to the position of prime minister.

Don’t forget that we prime numbers hold the keys to your most important encryption programs.  And who do you think controls the prime rate?  Remember this the next time your are in your house built on prime real estate while eating a wonderfully cooked piece of prime rib.

If our demands for equality are not met, we will not hesitate to call on one of our strongest military allies, optimus prime.

That is all.


Down the rabbit hole

Officials at San Fransisco’s Bay Area Rapid Transport admitted to shutting down cell phone service to disrupt a planned protest in the vicinity.  While reaction to the news was mixed during the blackout, one man went on record saying, “I think this is a perfectly acceptable course of action given the need for public safety.  We don’t need a bunch of troublemakers down here….   aaaarrrrggghhh… I’m having a heart attack… call 911!   What do you mean you aren’t getting a signal?”