Signs Of The Times

I was driving down the highway today and the electronic warning sign said, “Call *277 to report drunk drivers.” The next sign read, “Plz txt Some1NEARmeISbReakingTHElaw to 31416 to report drivers using their phones while driving.”

Back to driving…

Glass Eyes

Newt Gingrich has been given the opportunity to be one of the very first adopters of the new Google Glass. While always a public advocate of futuristic technological advances such as robotic doctor chairs and moon colonies, Gingrich’s excitement to try out this new technology was hard to contain as he detailed the potential uses for this new technology.  “I can be sitting in a meeting while seamlessly utilizing the power of the internet. This includes, but is not limited to, receiving real-time updates about important world events, checking up on my various stock portfolios, and utilizing Watson, the Jeopardy! winning computer, to find my next wife before my current one is even admitted to the hospital.”

Hitting The Wall

So I was watching Wall-E the other day for the Nth time (where N=N+1, which explains how many times my kiddos want to see this particular movie) and I noticed something that bothered me and now I can’t get it out of my head.  When Wall-E is hanging on to the outside of the rocket ship there is a shot of what I’m assuming is the Milky Way (or a similar shaped galaxy) which make me ask “how far away did they have to take the Axiom to escape the pollution of Earth?”  The answer, apparently, is a long, long way.  I asked Isabel for an explanation, but she started yelling “today is Wall-E’s birthday” over and over.  And if they can travel past billion of stars, why couldn’t they find a new planet on which to live?  Also, how much of the pollution on Earth was a direct result of building hundred of thousands of space ships and launching 10 billion people across the galaxy?  Think about it, but try not to let it keep you up all night.

Estate Planning

In a recent interview on Fox News Sunday the Republican Presidential nominee Mitt Romney placed the blame for not winning the election squarely on his campaign’s failure to connect with minority voters.  His wife, however, was quick to place blame on the fourth estate.  “And just to be clear about this, when I say ‘fourth estate’ I am referring to the media, and not our actual fourth estate we purchased to be closer to Rafalca, our professionally trained dance horse which recently competed in the 2012 Olympics.”