Will I get in trouble if I click on the frequently asked questions (a.k.a. FAQ) link without a legitimate question in mind?

No, there are no penalties– financially, spiritually, or otherwise.  Perhaps subconsciously you were thinking “why is there a FAQ page for some guy’s personal blog?”  So really you did have a good reason to visit this page.

OK, so why is there a FAQ page for your own personal blog?

Good question– I think the best answer I can give is that I needed a place to tie up loose ends that don’t get much attention in my regular posts.

What made you feel the need to start writing about your life?

It all started back in 1995 when one of my sister’s friends wrote a Christmas letter that was like none I had ever seen.  It was full of half truths and half lies and about a third of something else I couldn’t quite identify.  I realized that you can write about everyday experiences with a different perspective that gives it that extra little rush– kind of like riding the subway in Amsterdam without punching your ticket and hoping there isn’t a ticket officer on the train.

What have you been doing with your life?

I graduated from CSU with Bachelor’s degrees in Mathematics and Computer Science, worked for computer companies in Denver and Boulder, lived and worked in Amsterdam for six months, did database/website work on my own for a while, started working part time at UPS, kept working for UPS as a driver, adopted a crazy dog, got married, and have a kiddo on the way.   That was May 1996 through May 2009– I’m hoping to keep doing stuff for a while longer.

What is your biggest regret in life?

That’s a tough call.  The mullet I wore in high school, in retrospect, maybe wasn’t as cool as I imagined at the time.  But I would say coming right home after working in Amsterdam instead of taking time to wander around Europe for a few months.  They have some cool shit over there.

Another regret it not following up on my idea I had back in 2000 to make a video game steering wheel that was not physically mounted to a table or desk.  Even if I had just filed a patent on the idea I could have made some money on it.  Now, eight years later, Nintendo is making some big bucks with their Wii controllers.  I am trying not to make the same mistake twice– I’ve come up with a new type of electrical switch that I’ve filed a patent on that I think could really make a difference in the world.  I have a website at BlackRemote.com describing the concept in more detail.

What is your most common recurring dream?

The one where I have to go back to college and retake the second semester of physics.  In my college days I was a straight “B” student– I did all my assignments and projects to the best of my ability, but when finals came around I never seemed to do well enough to get an “A”.  And really, once you get through your first year your grade point average isn’t going to change that much in either direction.  The first semester of physics was all about the equation “F=MA”.  It explains stuff like why apples fall to the ground and why cars don’t want to go around corners, and I was fine with that.  I’m a very visual person, so these types of problems were not too difficult to wrap my brain around.  The second semester was all about electronic and magnetic forces and how there should be one equation to explain everything everywhere– not my cup of tea.  I believe I have repressed most of my memories of being tortured through the semester of the class.  Although every now and then I recall a memory of my professor’s assistant applying electric shock therapy while explaining, “Now the electrons in this battery are simply achieving a lower state by taking the path of least resistance– which just happen to be going through your testicals at the moment.”

My second most common dream is that I’m in prison.  I don’t know why I’m there, but I never feel as though I’ve been wrongly imprisoned.  And it is generally not a traumatic dream.  I’m not sure what this says about me, but I’m sure a professional therapist would tell me I’ve got some serious issues that will take years of personalized sessions to resolve (depending on what kind of insurance I’ve got).

You have worked at UPS since September 2002, but it doesn’t get mentioned much.  Why is that?

Several reasons– first of all, 99% of my job isn’t very interesting.  I drive a truck around and deliver packages every day.  The second reason is that I work hard to keep a low profile at work.  I’m not for or against management or the union;  I am for getting paid each week.  So no juicy gossip that someone could read and compromise my situation at work.  Although I will go on record as someone who still doesn’t like delivering boxes of live bees and crickets.  If I have offended any beekeepers, I apologize.

Have you lost some weight?

A few times, but keeping it off is the challenge.  I lost 40 pounds in college living in the dorms.  Having to walk everywhere and only being able eat at certain times really helped me out.  Then I had some thyroid issues and gained it back.  The next downturn was when I lived in Amsterdam and didn’t drive a car for six months.  I didn’t eat any differently, but all that walking did the trick.  But once I came back home my old habits of driving everywhere came back to haunt me.  Finally when I started driving at UPS I shed some extra pounds by sweating a lot and more or less following the Atkins diet.  (Side note about Atkins:  staying away from sugar seems simple, except that so many things have sugar in them that really seem like they shouldn’t.  Have someone really diligent about reading labels do the shopping.)

Can I ask a question?

Sure, if I think the question is interesting, insightful, or unique I’ll put it up here with a response that is either appropriate, inappropriate, or wildly inappropriate, depending on my mood at the time. If I don’t put it up here, I might reply with an email message. Just fill out the form below and I’ll get right on it.

I used to have a nice looking contact form up here, but all I was getting was spam. Why doesn’t anyone want to send me a message? I’ve decided to just post my address as an image and see if that works any better. So if you would like to tell me anything, just send me a regular old email message to: