I’ve peered into my 17-months-into-the-future crystal ball, and a disturbing development has come to light. An unnamed evil marketing company has developed a new interactive robo-calling computer with the objective of selling a specific product or service.  This practice, known as “Siri Snooping,” can simultaneously interact with tens of thousands of humans using countless different voice patterns and vocabulary sets based on individual personal data. Authorities are trying to track down the physical location of this rogue computer system with their primary suspect being, of course, “Watson! The Jeopardy Winning Computer.”

I hurt my back last week opening the rear door of my UPS truck.  The chiropractor took x-rays of my spine and explained how a healthy back should curve like the letter “S”.  My back looked more like a combination of a treble clef and the unpronounceable symbol used by the artist formerly known as Prince.

Welcome to part seven of my randomly ordered, finite but arbitrary large set of financial tips:

Hoard food coupons that do not contain expiration dates. If started early and executed properly, this method will provide free food between the years of 65 and 103.